We are at the close of another year. It seems like no matter what I do, time just seems to go by faster and faster as I get older. I finally get what every adult was trying to tell me when I was a kid. Where’s the pause button?
I started off the beginning of the year with the same resolution that almost everyone else tries to adopt, a blank slate. Let’s just face it, this is unrealistic. I think the most important lesson I learned this past year is that life is really messy, but the shit you go through makes you who you are. Sometimes, it is just that, shit. It’s mind boggling, enraging and downright devastating. But we are resilient.
We pick up whatever pieces we can. We mend the broken seams. And then we grow. It is super easy to look back at the nice, rose colored memories and think of those things as our only defining moments. All the while, the lumps in our rugs are mountainous with the flaws we sweep under it. But it’s all of it, the good and the bad, that collectively make up our lives.
Let me predict a couple of things for 2018. There will be successes. There will be failures. The only new year’s resolution I am making is this: be comfortable and embrace who I am, lumps and all.
Oh, and stop eating so much candy.
“Yes We Can. Yes We Did. Yes We Can.” – President Barack Obama
This past weekend, I began an attempt to organize my office. I began recycling junk mail and creating a pile of papers I wanted to keep. But like all my other “attempts” tend to go, I got distracted when I found one of my old journals in the desk drawer.
I gladly picked it up and began to skim the pages. A bright red sticker with the words “I Voted” jumped out at me. There was a piece of blue construction paper glued onto the page with a folded up newspaper article tucked underneath. I slid out the article before I began reading the words I had written in 2008. (more…)
The room that I spent most my childhood was a little girl’s dream. The walls were artistically covered in soft pink and rose colored paint strokes. It was whimsical. Pretty little white frames held sweet images of flowers and Precious Moments characters. When I was an obnoxious pre-teen that thought she knew every thing about this world, I had the faces of boy bands plastered over the little girl pink walls. But even at that age, I was careful only to collect and display the best posters.
Quiet can be a reprieve from the crazy world. It can provide solace and comfort. Between words said, it can say the things that cannot be spoken. It is sometimes heavy and laced with dread, panic. It can be the answer and the unfulfilled question.
I think it is safe to say that I love coffee with all five senses. I’m an addict, okay? It’s not even about just drinking it to get my caffeine fix, but it is also the process of getting the final product. It is part science and art mixed. So, it is very lucky I moved to Washington where they truly worship coffee. There is nothing like starting off a cold, wet day with a hot cuppa joe.
However, as the glorious summer weather rolls in, we tend to set our sights on something a little colder. My weapon of choice? Cold brew. It is smooth with little to no trace of acidity. But don’t let that fool you! Apparently, the caffeine content is much higher.
I am one of those people that tend to dwell on some awkward incident like waving back at a stranger because I thought they were waving at me. Sometimes, those thoughts turn a little darker and focus on bigger things in my life that I, and this is a dirty word, regret. The words of “what if” and “if I had just” fill my brain until I can’t hear anything else. This motto is my attempt to shake off a past that is already written. There’s no changing it. All you can do is take the successes and failures and create a roadmap for today. It’s about making the past useful in making smarter decisions and knowing that you will have more failures and bigger successes. It’s not starting over; it is picking yourself up.
I finally started on a project that has long been on my to-do list: organizing the years and years of pictures on my computer. Although I was dreading this project, I am really enjoying reliving some of the captured moments. I realized that I have been extremely blessed in the last few years to experience the joy of wandering this planet. I thought I would share a few of my favorite pictures from each trip.
To kick things off, South Africa. I studied abroad in Cape Town during college. For me at the age of 21, it opened my eyes to the beauty and the pain that exists in humanity. It was definitely a life changing trip.